Happiness > Money

My wife Chelsea and I recently started adhering to a stricter financial budget than we have in the past. We've assessed what our monthly expenses are, we set a goal for how much we want to transfer into our savings account at the end of each month, and we've started keeping certain spending activities to a minimum.

We rarely eat at restaurants anymore, preferring instead to cook at home and eat the leftovers for lunch the next day. We've opted for a combination of Netflix Instant and Hulu+ rather than paying for cable TV, which is a huge savings. We almost never go to the movies, we just wait for stuff to become available on Netflix, or maybe a Redbox kiosk in a pinch . We don't buy lots of knick-knacks for ourselves or Brendon; we've got plenty enough stuff as it is.

I say all this because yesterday something unusual happened. Chelsea, in a moment of quick decision, spent $40 to buy two sets of Irish dance shoes (hard-shoe and soft-shoe, respectively) for one of her dance students as a birthday present. Now, even our own family members only get birthday/Christmas gifts worth maybe $20, and Chelsea is typically the stricter one when it comes to our budget, so when she told me about this purchase I think she expected me to be upset. But I wasn't upset in the least.

If anything, it made me smile :)

For one thing, those shoes can easily run for over $100 a pair, so $40 to get both pairs at once was a steal. A lady on some obscure dance forum was trying to get rid of the shoes since her daughter had grown out of them, and Chelsea had to act quickly in order to score the deal.

Besides that, the student these shoes are going to—despite being in my wife's class for a few years now and being truly dedicated to it—has never had the opportunity to buy them herself. She comes from a family that's been going through some hard times lately, and it's only because of her love for the class that her parents scrape together enough extra money to keep paying each month.

And that's why I don't mind the sudden purchase my wife made. The reason we're putting money into savings isn't out of some Scrooge-like hoarding greed or anything. We have lots of financial goals we'd like to meet of course, but all of that pales in comparison to the happiness that those dance shoes will bring to that little girl. Forget making her day, this gift will probably make her month or maybe even year.

Isn't that really the more important thing? I certainly think so.

Tips to Overcome Writer's Block

Writer's block is something we all face at some time or another. That frustrating feeling of having this desperate urge to write, but being unable to get the words out. Sometimes it's so bad we can't even think of a topic to write about! After banging our heads against the wall for a while and getting nowhere, we throw in the towel.

Inevitably, we'll wake up in the middle of the night, suddenly struck by an idea that we must get out of our head immediately or else risk losing it. The human mind sometimes works in mysterious and beautiful ways—but this phenomenon is rare. Most of the time writing does not feel magical at all, but rather like pulling teeth.

Sooner or later you're going to hit that wall, just like everyone else does.

So, how can we overcome this wall? After some trial and error, I've found some ideas that have worked for me, and I thought I'd share them with you guys. I don't claim to be an expert, but maybe this stuff will help you too.

Tip #1: Exercise

You might ask yourself, "What the heck is this guy on? Exercise? I'm trying to get some writing done, not break a sweat." But I'm completely serious here.

One reason I end up having writer's block sometimes is that my head is too full of information I've absorbed throughout the day. After skimming hundreds (if not thousands) of RSS posts and tweets, not to mention all the fantastic stuff people have been linking to, I find it difficult to focus on my own task at hand.

Our brains aren't really built to process such a river of information every day, and yet I and many others keep doing it. It's an information addiction I'm working to rid myself of.

When I need to clear my head of all that cruft, I simply step away from my laptop and go for a light jog around the neighborhood. Give it a try, it may work wonders for you. Preferably sans-iPhone, so that you're not tempted to put on music or a podcast or whatever. That would defeat the purpose of what we're trying to accomplish here.

During the jog, try not to think about all the stuff you need to get done, or the deadlines you're facing, or the work you failed to finish previously. None of that matters right now. Instead, focus on your breathing. Enjoy your surroundings. Wave at the neighbors. Smile.

By the time you're done, you might just feel more relaxed and have a clearer mind. And if you do, I bet that the words which seemed so far out of reach earlier will come to you more freely.

If exercise really isn't your thing, give meditation a try. You don't even have to leave the house or office. Shut off all distractions, find a comfortable place to sit up straight, close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply, and try to empty your thoughts of all worries.

Even if it doesn't solve the writer's block, you'll feel tons better.

Tip #2: Photography

Writers are creative thinkers. Whether we know it or not, this tends to translate to having a natural eye for photography. Maybe not true in all cases, but in my experience, some of the best writers I know can produce some incredible photos. These skills seem intertwined as far as I can tell.

So, when the part of your mind that controls word production gets a little worn out, try getting out a camera and taking some photos for a while. Find something you've seen a million times and find a new way to capture it, perhaps using a different perspective.

Engaging a different portion of your artistic side this way can be the spark that ignites your creativity.

It doesn't have to be a DSLR or anything. If you've got a smartphone, chances are you've got something decent to work with. Or maybe you've got an old disposable camera laying around somewhere. As the saying goes, the best camera is the one that's with you.

Tip #3: Writing Assignments

Rather than doing all the work of coming up with a topic to write about, allow someone else to take care of that part for you. Writing assignments are wonderful exercises that can help jump-start your brain and get the creative juices flowing. They can also be done as a warm-up before you get started on your own topic.

A good resource I've found for writing assignments has been over at First Today, Then Tomorrow. There, playwright and author Randy Murray puts up a new practice writing assignment once a week, and they've never failed to get me thinking. Great stuff.

Tip #4: Look to Other Writers for Inspiration

Most of us have writers that we look up to and respect. Chances are, they've written about something that has interested you, or else you probably wouldn't have become a fan in the first place.

If you're struggling to find a topic, get out a book or browse through some of your favorite blogs until you see something you can add some insight to. There's nothing wrong with expanding on an idea you didn't originally come up with. Writers borrow from one another all the time. It's a natural part of what we do and I daresay that the world would be a dreary place without the sharing and building upon of such ideas.

Tip #5: Write Something. Anything.

Yes, you read that right. Another way to overcome writer's block is...write something. Anything at all. You can write about the coffee you had this morning. You can make up a backstory about that cat you see wandering around the neighborhood every day. Write a letter to your kid that they'll read when they're older. Write about the delicious meal you just had.

Seriously, just write something. It doesn't matter what. There's no need to share it with anyone else, so don't worry too much about content or style.

Sometimes the most difficult thing about writing is simply getting started. We could make every excuse in the book before we've even begun. Don't defeat yourself that way. Once you've started, you've already started winning the battle. You may even notice your hands struggling to keep up with all the words trying to escape your head. It feels completely manic, but in a good way.

Every person, whether they know it or not, is living a life worth writing about. They just have to find those stories, however small, and connect the dots until a story emerges. It's kinda like weaving a tapesty but WAY simpler. Anyone can do it.

* * *

There you have it. Those are the techniques I've used to help me overcome my writer's block. I really do hope you'll find some use for these tips, or be inspired to put together a list of your own.

If you have a great technique not mentioned here, let me know! It's nice to get a peek into the minds of other people struggling with the same things I am.

Raise Up, Rather Than Bring Down

Even as a natural pessimist, one behavior I don't understand in people is this desire to see others brought down. Or, to be the ones bringing the other party down themselves.

What is it in our nature that drives us to such bitterness? Why must we scrabble and clamber over one another in reach of something we'll never grasp?

Today I witnessed a fine example of this. A coworker has decided that another of our colleagues is not living up to his standards, so he has decided to track every little failure she makes, gathering data into a chart that contrasts her perceived failures with his successes. Once he has enough data to work with he will show it to the next person higher up on our sad little totem pole. And for what? Some brief moment of pale superiority?

This sort of thing saddens me more than anything else. I would advocate for a method of encouragement and community rather than plotting someone else's downfall. Which leads me to ask...

...What are you doing in your everyday life that improves the lives of others around you?

...Are you always aware of the kind of effect your attitude has on those people?

...When was the last time you gave someone a compliment out of the blue?

...Wouldn't you rather totally make someone's day instead of being the one who utterly ruins it?

Just something to consider over the weekend. If you've got a story of a thing you did recently that made someone's day a little brighter, or helped them achieve any level of success, I'd love to hear it.

Renewed Focus

I've been at this writing thing for over two years now. Every so often, I get into a sort of funk and spend weeks relentlessly asking myself questions like this:

"Am I truly proud of the work I've done?"

"Have I published articles of lasting value, or have I simply been spinning my wheels?"

"What am I even trying to accomplish here?"

"Does this site help other people improve their life or even give them some food for thought?"

The list goes on and on and on and...you get the point.

I imagine that lots of writers go through phases like this from time to time, and I acknowledge that it's probably a good thing, although it doesn't feel that way at the time. It feels more like falling into a deep well of negavity that's hard to get out of.

Even so, there's something natural and healthy about doing a little soul-searching so that we can reassess our goals and redefine our purpose for writing in the first place. Doesn't everybody desire a fresh start sometimes?

After taking a good hard look at myself and my writing, I've decided that I want to shift the focus of this site a little. Or rather, I'd like to narrow it down to a smaller list of topics than I have in the past. I sat down and thought long and hard about which topics I care most about and get the most enjoyment out of writing. This is what I came up with:

• Writing/Publishing
• Minimalism/Simplicity
• Inspiration/Motivation
• Technology/Design/Photography
• Tips/How-To's

Items that got cut were things like "Apple's sales" and "Rumors" and "Inter-company politics" and "News" and at least a dozen others. I'm not John Gruber or Jim Dalrymple — I just don't care as much about that stuff. I also feel that writing on a huge number of topics is a good way to "dilute" what I'm doing here.

From here on out, I will be making an effort to stick with the list of topics above. They're more of a guideline than a strict set of policies that I can never deviate from, but keeping my mind focused should help me produce more meaningful work. Narrowing down to this list alone has already felt like lifting a huge burden off my chest. It just feels right.

I want to look back on my articles at the end of 2013 and really, truly say that I'm proud of what I've done. We'll see how that goes, but it should be an exciting year either way.

'Becoming Batman'

Sergio DeLaGuera on dressing the part:

"When we put on that suit-and-tie for our day job, our brain kicks into work mode. We start thinking about how to do our job because our brain expects us to start doing it. Work-at-home professions can lose that separation of selves by being dressed in the same outfit for both work and leisure."

'Sober Reminder'

Marco Arment:

"Tucked away under the pile of everything else in life, I always planned to visit Allegheny, stop into Cup’s office, and say hello. Tell him how much I appreciated what he taught me. Show him what I’ve done since then. But it never happened, because I never got around to making that trip. It’s a sobering reminder that it’s never too early to show your appreciation for what someone has taught you."

Work Ethic and Inspiration

"A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper." — E.B. White

Imagine a dusty old attic. This attic is full of boxes, old toys, photo albums, and other artifacts of the past, but in the center of the attic sits the most interesting item of all: a canvas covered by smears of different-colored paints. You see, this is no ordinary paint. It moves. The smears constantly shift, the colors seeming to dance as they blend here and separate there, never quite in the same way twice.

Underneath all of this commotion, at all times there is a painting waiting to be revealed. As the colors shift, the painting in turn continually becomes something else, but each reveal turns out to be beautiful. The canvas appears flat, and yet the artist can dip their hand into the pool of colors, grasping around as they attempt to forcefully extract the painting and present it to the world.

Sometimes the painting will patiently wait as the artist struggles, possibly in vain, but there are rare occasions when the painting grows impatient, bursting forth from the canvas and slapping the artist in the face to leave a colorful palm print behind.

This is what inspiration feels like to me.

As a writer, my mind (the attic) is usually filled with disjointed ideas, vague images, incomplete sentences (the canvas). Each time I sit down to write, my goal is to reach into the canvas and pull out something great. To take the mess and mold it into something I can be proud of. To draw out a line of thought I might not have conceived of otherwise, had I not made that first effort to simply start.

It should go without saying that I fail a lot of the time, everyone does, but I keep trying anyway and I encourage you to do so as well. That's part of the fun. It's also a necessary practice for any writer.

Unless your superpower is 'Having An Ah-Ha Moment Every Time You Write', you're going to sometimes struggle with your writing just like everyone else, including me. And that's okay! The most important thing you can do is find a comfortable place and simply start writing. Doesn't matter what you write at first, whether it's a bunch of stream-of-consciousness nonsense or the first chapter of your next great novel, the process is the most important thing.

Don't wait for inspiration to strike. It may never happen, and you'll have produced nothing. But if you force yourself to do the work, to make that struggle against all odds, that's where greatness comes from.

I'll leave you with this fantastic quote by composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky:

"There is no doubt that even the greatest musical geniuses have sometimes worked without inspiration. This guest does not always respond to the first invitation. We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavouring to meet it half-way, we easily become indolent and apathetic. We must be patient, and believe that inspiration will come to those who can master their disinclination."

End-of-the-year Post Roundup

2012 was an undeniably big year, both for myself and for Unretrofied.

I became a father (technically Brendon was born near the end of 2011, but 2012 was the true journey). I redesigned this site twice. I made efforts to become a part of the same community of independent creators that I've looked up to for years. I started taking my writing more seriously and made a commitment to becoming a full-time writer (friendly reminder to check out the Unretrofied membership if you haven't already; there will be some neat goodies for members coming in 2013).

But this is all stuff I've already covered. So instead of blathering on about my year again, and for your reading pleasure, I've decided to gather up other peoples' articles I've been enjoying today. Some are about the past year, some look ahead to 2013, but all are wonderful.

Without futher ado...

Michael Schechter lists the people who influenced him in 2012 (a list that happens to mostly overlap with my own):

"This year, I didn’t try to learn from afar. I worked hard to get up close. I attempted (often in vain) to play at their level. To be their peer and, in many cases, to be their friend.

This year, I didn’t just spend time on the Internet, I invested in the people who work there and attempted to work along side them."

Jeffrey Inscho lists some ways he'd like to better himself, but not necessarily because it's a new year:

"I struggle to understand the concept of the New Year’s Resolution. Every year, millions of people select an arbitrary date to start obsessively modifying lifelong behaviors and habits. They hedge their bets on a metaphorical flip of a switch and hope the current of willpower remains flowing in the face of temptation, vices and history.

Speaking from experience, it seems the game is rigged and the whole premise is setting us up for failure."

Patrick Rhone learned a lot this year, and also makes a prediction:

"Bonus prediction: That 2013 will be the year of opt-out. That disconnection will become hipster cool. More and more people will be replacing smart phones with dumb ones, digital with analog, social with solitude, sharing with journaling, etc."

J.D. Bentley has a hazy recollection of the past few years, but some events stick out more than others for him:

"Aside from these events, 2012 is the year I started being delighted by the discovery of new words. I especially like coming across a word with such a specific definition that I’m surprised it even exists. Some of my recent favorites are anomie, perspicacity and aesthete. I also started writing whatnot appropriately, as a single word rather than two."

Shawn Blanc recounts the changes and successes in his life this year:

"This year I recorded 156 episodes of Shawn Today. Among my favorites were the week-long coffee-gear video series, the new “Ask Shawn Today” series, and the oodles of shows talking and musing about diligence and focus. Believe it or not, I’ve heard from many who claim they’ve listened to every single episode. Amazing. I haven’t even listened to every episode, and I was there when they were recorded."

Jim Dalrymple discusses how well things have been going for The Loop and makes this promise:

"I have some things planned for 2013 to make The Loop even better for the readers. However, one thing that will not change is the honesty with which we deliver our opinions on the news. I also have no plans to change the main design of the site, unless it is something that enhances the site for readers."

Gabe Weatherhead remembers every single minute of 2012 and how each was spent:

"So let's say I got 162,509 pretty good minutes out of 2012 — 3.71 months of usable, enjoyable, life enriching time in 2012. I spent 3.71 months cuddling, playing, coloring, dancing, tickling, running, hiding, singing, laughing, pretending and generally loving in 2012. I call that a win. Not a wasted minute whatsoever in my book. Life is what we do in the time between and I had a great few minutes in 2012. The best."

Dave Caolo takes you through a photo trip of his year, ending on a sweet note:

"...and lastly thanked my lucky stars for every single moment. On New Year’s Eve it’s appropriate to think about time. We’re all issued a finite amount. As such, it’s the most precious thing we have. Time. May you enjoy yours."

There you have it. I hope everyone has a safe, pleasant New Year's Eve. As for me, I'm going to enjoy a quiet evening at home with the family as usual.

Thanks to all of my readers for making this year so special. See you guys next year! (har har)

'Thirty'

Ben Brooks has turned 30, so he's listed 30 things he thinks he knows.

My favorite:

20. "Don’t give a shit about what people think of your honest opinion. If you think Android is better than iOS, Windows better than Mac, and Nikon better than Canon — so be it. You’d be wrong, but at least you’re standing for what you believe in, and that’s more important."

Now, Exhale

Christmas Season 2012 is over. The flurry of family, food, shopping, wrapping paper, and gifts has subsided, leaving behind almost strange feelings of stillness and peace. The supposed end of the world has not come to pass, and life returns to normal.

Today was spent putting our house back in order. Dishes have been washed and put away. Piles of wasteful packaging and other trash have been thrown away. Brendon's new toys have been sorted into two groups: "Keep" and "Donate". Anything worth keeping has been stored in its proper place, while everything else will be taken elsewhere.

The grandparents (meaning, my parents and in-laws) had their fun unloading a mountain of toys on our son, thinking to get their "revenge" on us for having lots of noisemakers when we were children, but what they don't yet know is that we made a certain decision a long time ago: we're going to limit the number of things Brendon owns and get rid of anything unnecessary as he grows up.

Not that we want to be mean about it of course, but in a day where children are constantly bombarded by advertisements and peer pressure, I feel it important to make sure we avoid instilling any sense of entitlement. I see too many kids and teenagers taking to Twitter every year, complaining about not getting the exact gift(s) they wanted. Or even getting the right gift but not the right color (such as a white iPad vs a black one). It's sickening.

For now, we will choose for him which things will be kept or given away, but as he gets older he will be asked to pick out which older toys to donate. These won't be blind donations though. He will be taken to see donation centers and homeless shelters in order to see and understand why it's important to donate to those in need. Even our lower middle class lifestyle is one of comparative opulence.

But I digress.

As 2012 winds to a close, I find myself excitedly thinking ahead to 2013 and what it holds. In years past, I've often done what many others do, making a list of New Year's resolutions and not keeping them, but something about this year feels different (yes, I know people always say that).

While I obviously can't predict the future, I have this oddly optimistic feeling that some sort of positive shift is about to take place in my life. Maybe it means I'll finally be able to write for this site full-time as I've so dearly hoped. Or perhaps some other big opportunity will present itself.

Whatever the outcome, I sense that 2013 is going to be huge for me. Can't wait.

The First Year

Tomorrow is my son Brendon's first birthday. I can hardly believe it's already been a whole year.

Right about this time one year ago, we had been in the hospital for 13 hours, not knowing we had another 8 ahead of us before our son would be born. Nor did we know we'd be spending the next week living at the hospital (all the way through Christmas) because he had to be kept in the NICU after birth, due to an infection and labored breathing.

That was a very tough week for us. It's also a story for another time. For now, I'm only thinking about all the amazing things that we've had a chance to witness in the last year.

His first smiles. The first time he really looked into our eyes clearly. The way he immediately took to the rest of the family. The first time he could sit up straight without assistance. His first trip to the beach. The first time he copied a word we said, or a note we sang.

The way he springs awake every morning and crawls all over our faces and giggles until we wake up and play with him. The first time he pulled himself up on my leg while I was sitting down, and just stood there blank-faced like he hadn't just done the coolest thing ever. The funny way he taught himself to crawl, dragging one leg while pushing off with the other.

The fact that he's almost ready to walk right now. The way he babbles at us incessantly as if carrying on a conversation. The way he latches onto a new word every week and uses it to describe everything he points at (some favorites: moon, cloud, light, dog). The way he gets excited and shouts "BROO CROOS" (Blue's Clues) whenever he sees Netflix loading on our TV. The fact that he already knows how to do things on our iPhones (bring up Siri, swipe between photos, etc).

I can honestly say that this has been the greatest year of my life. When I was younger the thought of having a child was the scariest thing I could imagine, but I wouldn't trade being a father for anything. I have friends who are still as terrified as I used to be, so I feel a certain duty to allay their fears and assure them how much they're going to love it.

I won't say that every moment is perfect. Far from it. There are times when I want to tear my damn hair out, like when he gets into that completely inconsolable state every parent has to deal with at some point. But the high points MORE than make up for the lows, and I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us.

Happy birthday, son.

Pause

Today has been a little crazy after flipping the switch on membership subscriptions, but I couldn't help talking about this wonderful piece by Patrick Rhone:

"Are you getting the point here? This is where writing begins. All of these experiences, stories, circumstances, details, and observations.

Your life is full of them. Write about your morning coffee. Write about your messy desk. There’s a hundred stories in every seemingly boring moment if you simply take the time to notice them. And all of those stories are connected to each other in beautiful ways. Each one by itself is an essay. Yet, find those woven threads and they just might make an interesting book."

This story serves as a good reminder to pause and enjoy your surroundings even when life feels hectic. I think it's a common thing people forget to do in today's fast-paced digital world, myself included.

Relish these brief moments of clarity. Life can be a beautifully complicated mess, but it doesn't get any simpler than this advice: Go outside. Breathe.

Tentative Steps

"The only reason for being a professional writer is that you just can't help it." - Leo Rosten

I created this site back in October 2010. It started out as a fun hobby, posting the (very) occasional blurb about stuff I was interested in. In the last two-plus years it has grown from a side hobby to something much more.

Rather than posting once or twice a month, I now write every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. I write during downtime at my day job. In the evenings, after my wife and son have gone to bed, I sit down in a comfy chair with some sort of drink and I write. Even on days when I don't post anything, I'm still writing behind the scenes.

It appears that I've finally stumbled onto my life's passion, and because of this, I've had an idea burning at the back of my mind for a while. Perhaps it's time to think about turning Unretrofied into a full-time job. Or at least taking steps toward it.

The idea of doing such a thing both excites and frightens me.

The Why

I'm at a point in my life where I need a change, career-wise. I've been working at my current job for over four years, and while it's not a bad gig, there's no challenge anymore. I can't remember the last time I learned anything new from this job, and I'm still in the same exact position as when I started. On top of that, the nature of my job keeps me away from my family a lot more than it should.

I've long dreamed of having a career based on my creative work, rather than stepping into an office and performing monotonous duties all day. All of my "real" jobs to date have entailed some sort of customer service. In the last 6 or 7 years, I've spent most of my waking hours trying to make customers/end-users happy, rather than doing what I want and allowing my creative mind to flourish. Not very satisfying.

My most creatively-fulfilling moments are when I'm taking photos and writing articles. I have doubts about going professional with my photography, and therefore it will remain a fun hobby for now, but writing is something I think about all the time. I think about it before going to sleep, when I wake up, and every moment in-between.

Before rediscovering my love for writing, it had been many years since I'd felt compelled to master a new skill or seek a drastic new direction in my life, but now I've got the itch, and I'm determined to make my goal a reality.

Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I'm not the type to leave my stable job and leap into the unknown like this. But I'm tired of letting fear rule my life, and my gut keeps telling me that I'm making the right choice. The only choice.

Luckily, I have a supportive wife who understands how much this dream means to me, and she has urged me to pursue it. You only live once, after all.

The How

This is where you, the reader, come in. If I'm going to do this thing I'm going to need your help, which is why today I'm making membership subscriptions available to anyone interested in supporting the site.

There are two options:

• Monthly — Just $3 a month. As Shawn Blanc puts it, it's "like a good cup of coffee."
• Annual — $30 a year. Same benefits as the monthly subscription, but you save $6.

I'm still working out the details pertaining to members-only perks and such, and I promise that I'll announce something special in due time, but for now the membership is simply a means of directly supporting my writing.

I want to stress right now that this is not some sort of scheme where you have to pay to view my articles or get access to a full-content RSS feed or anything like that. Unretrofied is and will remain a free web site.

My hope is that, if enough of you find it in your hearts to part with a few of your hard-earned dollars each month, I can eventually devote myself to Unretrofied full-time and still support my family. It costs only a small amount to you but helps me so much.

If you read this and choose not to subscribe, that's okay! I'm still glad to have you as a reader. Nobody should feel pressured into this thing, it's simply an option for people who enjoy supporting independent creators. I already do the same for a dozen other writers myself.

All I ask is that you consider it. It would mean the world to me.

'Inbox Intentions'

Shawn Blanc:

"But when we interrupt our own time with habitual checking of email, Facebook, Twitter, et al. then it’s like having micro meetings all day long."

I'm guilty of this sort of thing myself. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of writing and receive a Twitter notification, and instead of ignoring it I pick up my phone to see what it is. Somehow or another, this leads to me "catching up" on my Twitter feed since I last put it down, which of course leads to checking other feeds like App.net, RSS and email.

One of my goals for 2013 will be to cut back on these kinds of addictive distractions. I probably won't be doing a "digital jubilee" the way Shawn intends to, but I do intend on scaling back on who/what I follow online.

Simple Tip For Motivation: 'Encouragement.txt'

I often have a hard time staying motivated. It's something I struggle with constantly. Some examples:

• I sometimes start an exercise routine and quit within two weeks because I'm not seeing results quickly enough.
• After working at a job for a certain amount of time, I can become bored from the lack of challenges and turn into the guy from Office Space who works just hard enough not to get fired.
• If a personal project is taking too long to complete (such as an extremely long essay), I might become frustrated and quit.

Other people would probably read these and ask, "What's so hard about that stuff? What's wrong with you?" The answer is, I don't know. I just know that I have a harder time maintaining a positive outlook than other people. I'm naturally pessimistic, which is one of my least favorite qualities about myself.

To combat this, I've started keeping a log of compliments given to me by other people. Let's call it 'Encouragement.txt'. This idea ties into yesterday's brief homage to the text file.

Anytime someone decides to give me some positive feedback on what I'm doing, I put it into this text file. When I'm feeling down, or my creative energies are depleted, or whenever I'm thinking about quitting, I reference the file. It's difficult to articulate how amazingly helpful this has been for me, and I encourage you to give it a try yourself.

Want an example from my file? Here's a compliment I got from someone recently that actually pertains to Unretrofied:

"I was reading your Drafts review then started to skim your blog. You've got a lot of really good stuff up there and I really like your style. Keep it up man, you could be the next Gruber (without the smugness and dicknose)."

As someone who has looked up to John Gruber for years now (and no, I don't think of him as having a dicknose, although that bit made me laugh), this simple compliment made my entire day. And that's exactly why I'm keeping it for later.

Introverted

J.D. Bentley on being an introvert:

"What separates extroverts from introverts isn’t shyness or unsociableness. It’s small talk.

We don’t do small talk.

Ask me about writing or technology, mandolin or entrepreneurship and I will talk your ear off. Ask me about the weather and you’ll be disappointed."

This is how I sometimes feel about conversations in my personal- and worklife, because I am an introvert by nature.

To me it often feels like people try to fill dead air with words, any words, to alleviate the awkardness of silence they feel. Or perhaps they do it to feel some sort of companionship, however weak, with the other person.

I understand it, but I am not wired that way.

If I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say, then I prefer not to speak at all. To do otherwise encourages discussion that is empty, hollow, devoid of meaning. Sometimes radio silence is okay.

Thoughts on Writing

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this blog lately. You know, the typical existential stuff: where I want the site to go, who I want my audience to be, what kind of impression I will make, what I want to say.

With that said, I hope you'll excuse me if I ramble for a bit.

A little history

I started this site in October 2010, mainly as an outlet for my geeky interests. You could say I'm pretty late to this game. I've really only been following events in the tech industry for about 5 years now, and apparently I had the gall to start a tech blog in a world where people like John Gruber and Jim Dalrymple have been writing since I was a kid.

It's been a slow-moving process, let's be honest. For the first seven months after starting the site, I only managed to post six times, skipping two months straight in the process. They weren't even very good posts, which is why they've been removed from the archives.

I actually used to be a little embarrassed about my slow posting rate, because to any outside observer, it probably looked like I had zero dedication to this project, and that simply isn't true. I just had no clue what I was doing.

I've since come to realize that it's perfectly fine not to publish anything if I don't have something worthwhile to say right then. This is my site, after all, and I believe that there is real power in hitting the Publish button. I still get nervous doing it.

The truth is, I never used be someone who would write for the sake of writing. I grew up actually despising any homework where an essay was required. I struggle with writer's block quite often and I have a long, long way to go before I master the art of crafting beautiful sentences.

Sharing my thoughts with the written word has never come to me naturally in the past, but in these last couple years I've fallen in love with the process. Never before have I been so fueled by a desire to improve myself in a particular field. Writing has become a form of catharsis for me.

So what's next?

This blog has a long way to go before it will ever be on the same level as the ones that inspired it. But I'm willing to give it my best shot.

I want to do work that is substantial. I want people to read this site and have the same feeling I get when I read one of Shawn Blanc's best pieces. I want them to be inspired. I want them to take something positive away from here, or be given new perspective on a topic. And I hope it's not too big-headed of me to desire these things.

I will continue to improve, little by little, post by post. I will work on writing more thoughtful material, rather than brief bits of commentary on someone else's work. It's difficult for me to judge how I'm doing in this regard, since comments are disabled and I'm essentially speaking into an echo chamber where I'm the only occupant.

Get in touch

I have no intention of ever enabling comments, but I would still love to get some feedback on what I do here. Consider this an open invitation. I'd like you, the reader, to take this opportunity to tell me what you think about anything I've written, or even just say hi.

I truly appreciate the readers who have given this site a chance, and I will strive to continue improving my voice. I feel like great things are coming.

Thanks, everyone.

'Two Legacies to Strive For'

Rian van der Merwe has been thinking a lot about family lately:

"But for me it is also a move to a better understanding of what it means to be a family, to be bound together through thick and thin, to care more for these people than I ever thought would be possible. And with that comes the realisation that I don’t want to be that guy. That Dad at the park who’s always on his iPhone. The one who’s never home in time for bath time. So I obsess over these things — it pretty much takes an act of God for me not to be home to give my 3-year old a bath. And when I fail, I fall hard, and sometimes stumble rather slowly back on my feet."

Couldn't agree more. It's the kind of thing I was getting at near the end of my post about hardcore gaming.

Officially Getting Too Old For Hardcore Gaming

I enjoy playing video games. They've been a part of my life since I was a little kid. There's a photo somewhere of me, age 4, sitting there playing Blaster Master on my NES while all my relatives are gathered around my new baby sister, who had just been brought home from the hospital. This picture probably speaks volumes about my life.

I've owned a lot of the big consoles: Atari, NES, Sega Genesis, various Game Boys, PSX, PS2, Wii, Xbox 360, PS3. Of course, I also spent a good amount of time at friends' houses where they owned an SNES, Nintendo64, GameCube, or the original Xbox. In fact, most of my friendships as a kid were based around video games. All we ever did as a group was get together and play Counter-Strike, Halo, GoldenEye, Mario Kart, Street Fighter, or even WCW/NWO Revenge (yes, we watched wrestling and played video games based on it). LAN parties were a big part of my "social" life.

During my teenage years, I could have been considered a "hardcore" gamer. I was subscribed to several different gaming magazines at one point or another, including GameInformer, NintendoPower, GamePro, and the official Playstation magazine. I was the kid who could tell you all about upcoming games before most people knew they were even in development.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time in mall arcades in high school. I was a pretty fucking excellent Dance Dance Revolution player. I knew all the air-juggling combos in the Tekken series. My Honda Civic Type-R in Initial D (which I might still have the card for somewhere) was tough to beat. I could beat Time Crisis without ever having to insert additional tokens.

I went through a phase where I spent countless hours playing Japanese RPGs on the PSX and PS2, like Xenogears, Legend of Legaia, Brave Fencer Musashi, Legend of Dragoon, Lunar: Silver Star Story, Parasite Eve, Star Ocean: The Second Story, and Wild Arms. I had a bit of an obsession with the Final Fantasy series, namely games VII through X. I owned the soundtracks to a lot of these games (I still get a fuzzy nostalgic feeling whenever I hear something from the FFVII soundtrack).

My latest obsession over the last few years has been the Call of Duty series, starting with Modern Warfare 2. Each time a CoD game comes out, I play it so much that I can predict where enemies will be spawning at any given time and my kill/death ratio is consistently in the 2.0-3.0 range. Other players have accused me of cheating (something I've never done), which is like a badge of honor.

[There's a bunch more I could go into, but I think I've made my point.]

Why does any of this matter to you? So that you'll understand the shift I've been experiencing in 2012.

My son is a little over a month a way from his first birthday. In the past year, my wife and I have gone from doing whatever we wanted with our time to spending most of our time caring for this little guy. Making sure he doesn't hurt himself in a thousand different ways (seriously, why is he obsessed with power outlets?) and trying to teach him about his surrounding world at the same time.

Rather than immediately starting up a video game when I get home from work like I used to, we now focus on preparing dinner, cleaning up the house a bit, then sit down together to watch a couple episodes from one of our favorite shows on Netflix or just play on the floor with him. After that, it's time to get him ready for bed: giving him a bath, changing his diaper, maybe reading a story to him, and then my wife nurses him to sleep.

I have sometimes taken advantage of nursing time to play some CoD, but this time has increasingly been spent writing for the blog instead, or reading a book for a while before I go to sleep. This helps me go to bed at a more sane hour, rather than 2:00am on a worknight because I'm wired from playing games.

I find myself caring less and less about anything game-related as time goes on. I let my gamer mag subscriptions end a long time ago, I no longer keep up with development cycles, I don't know what big games are on the horizon, I don't mind not having the highest score, I no longer take pride in completing a game on the hardest difficulty after repeating frustrating missions over and over, and I certainly have no desire to ever buy new titles for $50-a-pop anymore.

What I do care about is being there for my family, spending time with them instead of being absorbed in a game that doesn't matter. I feel bad for the early days of my relationship with my wife (then-girlfriend), when I would spend more time playing games than experiencing life with her. Sometimes I wonder why she ever decided to stick with me.

I just don't feel that gaming has a large place in my life anymore. Do I still enjoy playing from time to time? Of course! I'll probably even play the occasional game with my son when he's a bit older. But I now see it for the addiction that it is and will strive not to let him become as obsessive about it as I have. My parents, despite being great role models in most other aspects, never really set restrictions on my gaming time and I now look back and see that this was an error.

I'm still working on other addictions in my life, which I'll write about soon. For now though, I feel more content with how I spend my time. Rather than racking up meaningless digital points, I'm accumulating better life experiences, and that matters more to me than anything.

Say Hi to the Newest Member of the Gonzales Family

Yesterday at 4:10am, December 21 2011, our son Brendon Elliot Gonzales was born into the world. At 7 pounds, 12 ounces, and 21 inches tall, he's the perfect (early) Christmas present.

Although he's had a little trouble breathing and is being kept in the NICU for a week while he gets better, we couldn't be happier. I'm excited to be a father and will be spending copious amounts of time holding him in the upcoming weeks.

As I write this, he's finally getting some sleep now that the flurry of visiting friends and family has slightly subsided (emphasis on slightly haha). My wife is also getting some much-deserved rest, and even I am going to try and get a little sleep in. It's been a crazy 60 hours.